It's Still A Long Road To The Brave New World

How many pitfalls there seem to be on the road to the much discussed future of universal genetic testing! I recently ordered a genetic test from 23andMe.com. The genetic test requires a saliva sample, and apparently the sending and ... uh, collection (you'll see in a second) of this sample has brought the genetic testing companies in conflict with several state authorities. A few weeks after I sent in my sample I got an email that read, in part:

Option 1: If you spat in the state of New York but are willing to spit again outside the state. Please reply to this email telling us you choose Option 1 and we will ship you a new collection kit. If we ship the new kit to New York we will need your confirmation that you will not spit in the state using the new kit. If you would like us to ship the new kit to you outside of New York, we would be happy to do so.

IF YOU CHOOSE THIS OPTION PLEASE REPLY WITH "OPTION 1" IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND INCLUDE YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS IN THE BODY OF THE MESSAGE. IF YOU CHOOSE A NEW YORK SHIPPING ADDRESS PLEASE WRITE "I CONFIRM I WILL NOT SPIT IN NEW YORK."

Option 2: If you spat in the state of New York and are unable to spit outside of the state. Please reply to this email telling us you choose Option 2 and we will issue you a full refund. Your current sample will be destroyed.

IF YOU CHOOSE THIS OPTION PLEASE REPLY WITH "OPTION 2" IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND IN THE BODY PLEASE SAY "PLEASE SEND ME MY REFUND AND DESTROY MY SAMPLE."

Option 3: If you spat outside the state of New York. Please reply to this email telling us you choose Option 3 and we will continue to process your sample or provide access to your data if it has been processed. We are not asking you to misrepresent where you spat.

IF YOU CHOOSE THIS OPTION PLEASE REPLY WITH "OPTION 3" IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND IN THE BODY WRITE "I CONFIRM I DID NOT SPIT IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK."

This came in November. By now it's likely that 23andMe has included similar instructions in the initial collection kit (there's really no way to talk about this without some level of grossness). I would've posted this earlier, but, frankly, I wanted to have all of this squared away and actually get my results before posting this.